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The current period signifies a full decade since the phrase “ghosting” hit the public consciousness. Initially, the idea that someone could suddenly stop contact with a partner without any notice seemed like the pinnacle of rudeness. We were so innocent. In the 10 years since, seeking a mate has only become more confounding – an oftentimes pointless endeavor in embarrassment that is increasingly pigeonholed by social media slang.

Gen Z, a cohort who grew up during a social isolation epidemic, a male identity crisis, and a coordinated challenge on the rights of women and the queer community, faces a significantly more chaotic terrain than their millennial forerunners could ever fathom. And so their dating vocabulary has grown longer and more unhinged, with expressions like “Shrekking” and “vine swinging” testing the limits of your sanity.

The following list is a detailed breakdown to the terms this generation is using to talk about love, sex and the search of both. To paraphrase one of the year’s most popular memes, by the conclusion of this list you’ll ache to get back to simpler times – because wherever that is, it is free from “wokefishing”.

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The Letter A

Genuineness – In the view of gen Z, romance's ideal is presenting as your real, unfiltered self. Good luck with that!

The Letter B

Feathered friend test – A online phenomenon connected to a test developed by relationship scientists, in which you point out something trivial – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and pay attention to whether your date's response is inquisitive or dismissive. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Mysterious girlfriend – Gen Z’s answer to the “quirky fantasy girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but instead of having baby bangs, liking The Smiths and avoiding commitment, the mysterious partner prioritizes herself while oozing mystery and self-sufficiency. (She might still have baby bangs.)

C

Support test – This means choosing someone who helps you unprompted. If you entered a room, they would pull up a chair for you to take a load off.

Errand romance – A date where two people bond while doing chores, such as walking the dog or food shopping. In other words, how financially strained twentysomethings do low-cost romance in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Melting down – Losing it when you feel overwhelmed by life. You can lose it over a infatuation or breakup, dumping all of your (unrequited) feelings.

The Letter D

Dink – Two incomes, no children. Once a marker of 1980s young urban professional affluence, it describes pairs who forgo parenthood to prioritize their own well-being. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

E

Vulnerable signaling – The antithesis of acting aloof: embracing communication, transparency and openness.

The Letter F

Signals

• Red flags – Behavioral traits indicating a potential partner is bad news. Examples include calling their exes crazy, bad tipping habits, a fondness for controversial director films, a nascent DJ career …
• Green flags – These traits confirm your choice to date a partner. For instance following up to make sure you got home safe after a date, low phone use, having a bed frame …
• Beige flags – These usually describe niche, mostly inoffensive quirks. For instance being an enthusiastic ornithologist, still carrying around a biro in their purse, paying rent in cash …

Freak matching – When you find someone who’s just as obsessive about documentaries about the WWII or DVD collecting or art or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who hates the same stuff or individuals that you do (few things creates intimacy faster than having a common enemy).

G

The band Geese – A band a typical Zoomer guy is into.

Zombie-ing – Someone who pops back into your life after a length of disappearing.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is affable, eager to please and loyal. The uncommon partner who is beloved by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's opposite.

Gooners – A primarily online subculture of men so preoccupied with self-pleasure that they attempt extended sessions, purposefully delaying climax so they can continue as long as possible.

H

Heterofatalism – A trend describing many women’s increasing despair toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An stereotype touted by manosphere figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and happily home-oriented, who seemingly has no ambitions of her own other than satisfying her man partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to understand the whole “pessimism” thing better?

The Letter I

Turn-offs – Arbitrary and often mundane repulsions that instantly kill any sense of desire.

“He would if he cared" – Something to remember after you watch someone else receive an extremely thoughtful gesture.

The Letter J

Careers – These have not been this significant in the dating scene since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ultimate catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will be a provider (there’s a hit TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd seek out partners in professions they believe are being staffed by the more caring among us: nurses, teachers or therapists.

K

Making out – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has been around for 16m years. But the days of kissing may be numbered since some Zoomers prefer fewer sex scenes in film, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen intimacy believable.

Light catfishing – Mild deception. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using older (better) photos of yourself on a online profile, or making your job sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {